Maybe you’ve seen the posters advertising training for a few good foster families…
…and asked yourself, “Who would do that?”
Maybe you grew up in foster care…
…and would like a chance to pay if forward.
Maybe…
…you just have room in your life—and heart—for a child who needs both.
If you’ve gotten this far, Melissa Bialkowski, foster care supervisor for Schoharie County’s Department of Social Services, is looking for you.
DSS is always looking for foster families, Ms. Bialkowski said, but as heroin use and arrests continue to take their toll locally, the need for them has increased significantly.
May’s numbers showed more than 80 local kids in some sort of foster care with just 12 families certified to provide care. Five other families have just finished DSS training to become foster care families, a process that takes about six months from start to finish.
“There’s always, always need,” Ms. Bialkowski said, because every child—and every foster family—is different. “We can never have too many.”
Once a child is in foster care, DSS does everything it can to keep their life as normal as possible, which often begins with keeping them in the same school district—and something that immediately begins winnowing down the possible families.
Add to the fact that some families are most comfortable with babies—or teens—or that someone who may be a good fit for a particular child already has all of the children they have room for, Ms. Bialkowski said, “and you begin to see why we can never have too many families.
“We want the best fit for every child and sometimes it can be hard to place a specific child. The more families we have to work with, the better. Right now, our numbers are kind of low.”
DSS requires prospective families to go through a 6-10 week class that it typically offers a couple of times a year—though Ms. Bialkowski said they’d offer the class more often if they had more interest; because things like role-playing are involved, she said they need about 10 people to make a class work.
“The classes are very enlightening,” she said, letting DSS staff get to know the prospective families while giving them insight into some of the “hard things” they might come up against if they do decide to foster.
“These kids are fragile,” she said. “Just being removed from their home is a trauma. If they’re used to being hungry, they may do things like hoard food. They may have other behavior problems. We give prospective families the tools they need to deal with these kinds of things. And we stress that they can always say no to a particular child; we won’t hold it against them.”
Foster care families can be families—or singles. Gay, straight…“Again, the more types of different families, the better match we can make,” Ms. Bialkowski said. “It’s always nice to have a bigger pool.”
In addition to the DSS classes, prospective families need to be in good health and able to pass a physical and willing to meet with a staff psychologist; have no criminal record, and able to provide a safe living environment.
The reasons people get into foster care are as varied as the children themselves.
Some, Ms. Bialkowski said, want to grow their own families, while others may be struggling with fertility problems or fostering in hopes of adopting.
Others want to make a difference in a kid’s life.
“And we want to give them as normal a life as possible,” Ms. Bialkowski said. “Prom, soccer, afterschool activities, part-time jobs, a driver’s license, college…”
Foster care families receive a subsidy to help with care as well as a clothing allotment; there’s also money available for things like prom and school trips, and insurance usually comes through Medicaid or Child Health Care Plus.
The reasons children end up in foster care are as varied as the children themselves—but removal is always a last resort, and the goal is always to reunite children with their biological families.
And though the stereotype is that it’s an unemployed family living in poverty whose children end up in foster care, Ms. Bialkowski said it’s just that: A stereotype; children who enter foster care come from all backgrounds, rich and poor, educated and not.
“Some families recognize they’re struggling and recognize it may be best for the child to be removed even temporarily,” Ms. Bialkowski said. “Others, this is how they were raised. That’s the hardest to change.”
“But the most important thing we do is what’s best for the child. Most of the time, this is not a short-term thing.”
For more information on how to become a foster family, call DSS at 295-8334.